Singer/actress/filmmaker Madonna was sharply criticized on social media last week for allegedly texting during a New York Film Festival screening of ‘12 Years a Slave.’ The team at Alamo Drafthouse, a small chain of premiere indie movie theatres, went so far as to ban Madonna from Alamo screenings until she publically apologizes.

It got us thinking: When should you text? When should you refrain from texting? Below is the definitive guide to text messaging etiquette.

Times When You Should Not Text

When Driving: In 2011, 3,331 people were killed in crashes involving a distracted driver. Don’t do it.

When Walking: Texting while walking, a seemingly innocuous practice, was responsible for 4,432 U.K. deaths in 2011, up from 4,109 in 2009.

I can personally attest that this is a serious issue. Last night, I walked into a telephone pole while texting and walking. I looked uncool and it hurt, but what if that telephone pole had been a car and what if instead of walking, I had been jaywalking? I would be either dead or gravely injured and you wouldn’t have this great article to read. Don’t do it.

Outside in Public Where People Can See You: I don’t really even like to see someone sitting on a bench, texting. It looks really annoying. You should definitely be enjoying the weather. Is nature too beautiful for you? Whatever happened to People Watching? Instead of looking at your phone, look up. You’ll see people walking into telephone poles while texting. It will be hilarious.

Texting outside in public? Don’t do it.

Times When It’s Okay to Text

If You Are Alone at Home and Your Windows are Drawn: If you are alone at home and your windows are drawn, so that people outside enjoying nature can’t see you inside on your phone, it’s okay to send a text message.

Still, you should definitely just call that person. Otherwise, you’re going to send a text message joke that is interpreted as serious because tone is so difficult to read in text messages.

It’s Never Okay to Text

Actually, you should never send text messages. Hang out with people in person or talk to them over the phone or use Skype (News - Alert). Skype is great.

This is the compromise: No more texting, use Skype.

No, seriously though, when do you think it is appropriate or inappropriate to text? Let us know in the comments below, or get at me on Twitter (News - Alert): @ryantmcnet.